Age of Opportunity by Paul David connects parents with teenagers. The teen years should not be ignored but taken as an opportunity.
Parenting teens requires us to listen to our teens and to teach them God’s wisdom and grace as we also learn from God.
Teenagers are full of surprises, but when we approach these often trouble-filled years with the hope of God and His wisdom, they can be positive. Teenagers will find trouble, but as parents, we can teach and guide them into adulthood with God as the center focus. This starts with including God in our parenting, showing His grace, compassion, and forgiveness, as well as correction.
We need to teach our children to seek wisdom and have clear boundaries. This starts with open lines of communication and builds on that conversation. The teenage years do not need to be dreaded, but they do need to be directed toward God.
In this summary, you will learn:
- to see the teen years are ripe with opportunities to find God;
- simple, basic principles to use to connect with teens; and
- why parents must know themselves first to be of help to their teens.
The teenage years bring their own sinful temptations, but they must not be written off.
The problem of teen years is a common theme in books and on television shows. Every parent seems to dread it, even when the children are still very young. The teenage years are what all parents hear and talk about because it is expected that one day your wonderful little child will awaken as a teenager, and life will fall apart. Teenagers are almost expected to be rebellious, and their parents are expected to ride it out. It is said that hormones take over the brain, and common sense goes out the window. This is what we all do.
There is a cultural epidemic of fear when it comes to teenagers, which leads to a horrible goal for parents: mere survival. This is fundamentally wrong, and we need to consider the teenage years and a parent’s perspective from the biblical perspective. Teens are too often discussed as if they are little more than raging, rebel hormones. Many parents look for kids to reach the magical age of 20 as if it is some door that opens on that birthday, and life finally falls into place.
This survival mentality is one way the impoverished view of teenagers is exposed. So many parents view their teenagers without hope, only as victims of their hormones. If this view is true, then we are also assuming that teenagers are essentially unreachable during these years. This also presupposes that the truth that gives life and hope to everyone cannot be given to teens. If we believe teens are unreachable, then we have lost belief in the power of the gospel.
In 2 Timothy 2:22, we are told to “flee the evil desires of youth.” This simple imperative calls our attention to the years considered a part of youth because they are a time when desires can get the best of us. But it also reminds us that God is still there, still available, and still helping if He is sought. We all have temptations unique to our age range. This verse locates and defines the battle of youth in that it is not primarily biological but spiritual in nature. This kind of struggle is not, then, unique to teenagers but common to all sinners.
The tendency of every sinner, no matter age, is to exchange service and worship of God for those things God created. While a teenager may crave peer approval, young adults may seek a profession, a home, a family, and those of retirement age may seek financial security. We all seek something outside of God. Still, Jesus came to save all, even teenagers.
We must first guard against our idols to effectively teach our teens.
Being effective for Christ in the lives of teenagers requires us to be honest about ourselves as well. We must be willing to identify the idols we hold in life before helping others. These idols are the areas in which we tend to worship the creation rather than the Creator.
It is typical when we want to help teenagers that we look only at them, but in reality, we need to get to know ourselves. What we worship day to day will bleed into our children’s lives or the children we encounter in life. It is almost a waste of time for parents to consider strategies for parenting teens if they are not willing first to examine themselves. If we, as parents, are controlled by anything other than God, then we will miss opportunities to parent in the teen years. Teens are by nature not yet adults but not children either. They are self-centered and can make easy days difficult, but this does not mean the parent’s chance to mold them is gone.
So many of us want life to be a resort in which we are served. Our needs should be met, and things run on our schedule. This is a sense of entitlement, and it can seep into our parenting styles as we think we deserve peace, quiet, and harmony. When these are not present, we tend to respond in anger.
Unfortunately, life is not a resort but more like a war. This is most clear during the teen years. It is not just due to biology, but spiritual warfare as spiritual beings fight for space in the teen’s life. This causes parents to act out of frustrated desires – saying and doing things they may regret because they are not prepared for what is happening.
Parents may not even realize many idols that are in their lives. Respect is one of the most common. Parents tend to demand respect because of an entitled feeling, but respect is earned, not forced.
This is associated with appreciation as an idol. Parents have sacrificed for their children, doing laundry, buying clothing, and possibly putting their own dreams to the side. Many feel they deserve appreciation for this from their teens, who are becoming more independent…
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