Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson shares how parents can raise caring and responsible men in the modern world. Practical advice and statistics show parents what their sons need most in a society that works against them in almost every way.

Raising a godly man requires love, understanding, and a strong relationship with your son.

When masculinity is considered toxic and more boys are struggling to find a place to fit in, parents need all the advice they can get on how to raise their sons into caring and responsible men. When society works against the biochemistry of a boy’s brain in almost every way, or when men become the butt of every joke, and the heroes on TV don’t model a godly worldview, it can be difficult for a son to understand what it means to be a man. Additionally, the business of fathers or nontraditional family models may remove his best source of information.

For your son to grow into a man who is self-controlled, loving, and kind, he needs both your presence and attention. It’s not easy to counter the culture, but it can be done when parents are intentional about building a strong relationship and teaching a positive and godly version of masculinity.

In this summary, you will learn:

  • how God has intentionally designed boys a certain way;
  • how our society works against boys in almost every way; and
  • why boys need their parents’ presence and love

Parents have to learn how to protect their boys in today’s world.

The inherent differences between the way a little boy thinks and behaves compared to a little girl have been noticed in many societies across the ages. Little boys tend to be more active, adventurous, and impulsive. Anecdotal stories told by parents over generations show that boys’ decision-making is characterized by the question of whether the accomplishment is worth the potential pain – not by how likely it is for them to be hurt.

The way the male brain works, combined with hormonal differences, shows that men will always be different. During the 21st century, however, there is a war against traditional masculine values that jeopardizes the health and wellbeing of young boys. With so many different ideas of what it means to be a man, your son will struggle to learn his own identity.

Because boys naturally gravitate to more aggressive play, this age where “toxic masculinity” is a catchphrase can be a confusing time to be raising boys. All parents want their children to become well-rounded adults, but there is a danger that the very elements that make their young boys unique will be suppressed or demonized by others. It can be difficult for parents to sort out what behavior is appropriate and normal over against what needs to be stopped.

In addition, the worldly morality portrayed in media creates another temptation that parents need to guard against. Other people have their ideas of manhood and what is sexually acceptable, and they want to influence your child. The examples of manhood that a child witnesses will stay with him into adulthood and affect his future behavior, ethics, and salvation.

In addition, there are temptations in the age of the internet that parents must be aware of so that they guard against them while they raise their children. If Christian parents are going to succeed in raising men who are godly, loving, and honest, they will have to defend against all the other voices trying to reach their sons. They will also need to become intentional about teaching the virtues they want their child to possess in adulthood.

When there is a war against traditional masculinity, parents need to remember God intentionally designed men to be a certain way.

The war against masculinity has been raging since feminists first suggested that males and females were identical except for accompanying reproductive systems. The true differences in temperament and behavior came (they argued) from a society that trained boys and girls to behave differently from each other. Because of this movement, parenting has been impacted.

Toys became a battleground for this new ideology as they pushed for gender-neutral toys or for all toys to be marketed equally to children, such as dollhouses for boys and cars for girls. However, the money spent shows that there is a gender divide on certain types of toys. When boys do engage with traditional girl toys, their method of play usually differs as well.

Even though the behavior of children – and also brain scans – show that there are inherent differences between boys and girls, the modern gender ideologies continue to impact our society and parenting today. Without understanding the biological traits that impact a boy’s mind, parents risk doing more harm than good to our society.

The hormone testosterone has an impact on a boys’ development in the womb. It changes the brains of prenatal boys to cause the changes seen later on, such as language development or the processing of ideas. Testosterone is a recognized influence on how a body develops. It’s associated with competitiveness, self-confidence, and taking risks.

In addition to a sex hormone that encourages this kind of behavior, males naturally have less of the calming hormone serotonin. Low serotonin correlates with increased violence, impulsiveness, and impaired risk assessment.

The amygdala, the part of the brain that reacts to perceived danger, is also larger in males than in females. This means that males have a greater capacity to react in violence to a perceived threat. Because the amygdala’s lifesaving potential requires it to instantly move the body into action, it relies on memory rather than thinking through the best course of action in the moment.

Because we know that God intentionally designed men to be different, we can trust that there is a purpose behind masculinity. By creating two genders, God created a world full of individuals who could bring variety and balance to each other. Masculinity has strengths that need to be appreciated. Boys will have to learn self-control, but they shouldn’t lose God’s intentional design in the process…

Join Holy Reads to read the rest of Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson book summary.

Download the App here and access 1,000+ bestselling Christian book summaries in written, audio, and video formats