In the modern West, we don’t often approach dating with marriage in mind. Christians and non-Christians alike often date purely because of a mutually felt chemistry or physical attraction. Christians might meet non-Christians who are sweet, kind, and hard-working. They might even live morally good lives that rival or exceed Christians in certain respects. And believers might think that it is acceptable to date them because of cultural norms.
But what happens when dating a non-Christian turn into falling in love with a non-Christian? Is it ever okay for a Christian to marry a non-Christian? The answer from Scripture is no. And there are three principal reasons that Scripture says this is so.
hristians and Non-Christians Have Unequal Spiritual Status Before God
Second Corinthians 6:14 says, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” Christians desire righteousness and reflect the light of Jesus into the world. Non-Christians pursue lawlessness and are spiritually dead.
Christians and non-Christians not only have unequal spiritual status before God, but they are stark opposites and incompatible with one another. They are proceeding in opposite directions with life purposes that do not mesh. Righteousness cannot coexist with lawlessness, nor can light coexist with darkness.
Indeed, an unbelieving spouse never truly knows the heart of a believing spouse. The different worldviews and perspectives cause pain, frustration, and even persecution. And when disagreements arise, the unbelieving spouse remains with their heart of stone. The believing spouse would not even have the privilege of knowing that the Holy Spirit was working on the heart of their partner to bring about conviction and change.
It is good and right for Christians to desire the salvation of non-Christians. But they should not consider marrying (or even dating) them until they have come to a true knowledge of saving faith in Jesus. It is far too great a risk. Unbelievers prior to salvation are enemies of God. And since Christians make up a part of the family of God, they must not intermarry with an enemy of God.
Marriage Is Supposed to Be a Picture of the Gospel
But perhaps the greatest reason for Christians to avoid marrying non-Christians is that God designed marriage to be a reflection of His saving gospel. The husband is to represent Jesus, and the wife is to represent His church. As the two unite together, they represent the union between Jesus and His bride. An unbelieving husband or wife does not properly reflect the gospel message.
Furthermore, a spiritually mixed marriage will find it extraordinarily difficult to obey the biblical commands regarding marriage. A Christian wife is called to submit to her husband as the church submits to Christ. But if the husband is an unbeliever, there will be more tension and more pain in this area. A Christian husband is called to love his wife as Christ loved the church. But if the wife is an unbeliever, it will be more difficult to love and unite with her.
Marriage should be about two people coming together to love each other and pursue God together. This is simply not possible if one party loves God and the other party does not. The Bible says that we love because God loved us first (1 John 4:9). Non-Christians don’t know how to love because they have not experienced the saving love of God. And they don’t know how to help their partner pursue God because they themselves are not pursuing God. Spiritually mixed marriages are wrong because Christians are tying themselves to someone who is going in the opposite direction.
What About Christians Who Already Find Themselves in a Spiritually Mixed Marriage?

But if a Christian has already married a non-Christian or became a Christian after having already gotten married, they should do everything in their power to remain in the marriage. They should not turn one sin into multiple sins by adding divorce to an unequally yoked marriage. Paul explains in 1 Corinthians 7:13 that believers who are in unequally yoked marriages should not seek divorce. Rather, they should strive to live a life of godliness with the hope that they, too, will come to salvation.
Married couples have become one flesh with each other. They are spiritually tied together before God, and as Paul explains in the next verse, the believer actually has a part in making the unbeliever holy because of their union together. Indeed, if a believer remains in their marriage with an unbeliever, they get to continue living out the gospel before them. And the unbeliever might become a believer based on his or her testimony.