Parenting by Paul David Tripp Book Summary by Holy Reads

Parenting by Paul David Tripp is not typical parenting advice with tips and techniques. Rather, it’s about our role as parents as a tool for God, who has blessed us with children who need to know Him.

Parenting according to the Bible requires us to teach our children about the authority of God, their sin problem, and the grace of God in Christ.

You are about to learn about parenting with a “big gospel parenting worldview.” Since parents often get lost in the day-to-day activities that come with having children, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed or lose sight of the bigger picture. Children take time, energy, and lots of prayer.

There are many books about parenting a specific type of child or how to handle a specific issue, but parenting is about far more than a single issue or a single behavioral issue. It is about raising children in the gospel of Jesus Christ. This means that we must reorient ourselves as parents with a new way of thinking. This starts with knowing our place as a parent in relation to God and that of our children.

In this summary, you will learn:

  • about parenting as a long-term mission;
  • how worship may be the cause of behavioral problems in children and adults; and
  • sharing grace and mercy with children because God does the same for us.

Nothing is more important than being a tool of God that helps form a human soul.

Parenting has ups and downs, good and bad, fun and seriousness. This is what being a parent is about. Sometimes you will feel like a complete success. Other times a total failure. No matter where you are in this moment or the parenting journey, try to remember that children are a calling. They are one of the most significant callings we can have in life because God is asking parents to help form a human soul. As if this was not enough, this means that everything we do, say, decide on, and make a choice about in life reflects our internalized values that we share with our children. Each day of our lives, we seek treasure within its context. We must decide whether our children are that treasure or not. 

Many things in life compete for our attention and places in our hearts, but these are not meant to hold that place. When we allow physical possessions, money, homes, or cars to take precedence, then the children cannot hold the place in our hearts that they should.

The same is true of continually working toward success. While God designed us to want success, if it takes over life, then it is out of control. Too many people are letting others raise their children because they are overly focused on success. When the parents do get home, they are often too tired to show grace and truly enjoy their children. This is a serious problem. We must remember that the focus remains on God, and God desires us to care for our families beyond financially. Even when in the ministry, the family must be cared for well because God will not call us to one area to neglect another. His commands are never in conflict.

Parenting is at the heart of what God designed human beings to know and be in life. God created parents to serve as a tool in creating God-consciousness and God-submission in children. Parents help to point children toward God and develop a God-centered heart in children. This means it is our job as parents to acknowledge God every day so that our children will be able to see Him as well. This is done through prayer, Bible study, and rules, all of which will need to be shared in the context of following God and seeing Him in creation.

God has called us to the parenting task and makes sure we are equipped.

Many parents – in fact, all parents – will struggle at some point in their child’s life, but the good news is that we already have the solution to every struggle. This solution is that we must remember God’s grace for all of us. No one will ever be perfect or have all the answers while on earth, but God has provided His grace for those times when we struggle. Understanding God’s grace will change us, and that change will help us relate to our children in new and better ways.

It may seem incomprehensible that God in His perfect wisdom would let humans do the task of raising a new generation to seek Him, but God has always used inadequate people. This is because God can use this feeling of inadequacy to point to Himself and teach us as we teach our children to rely on, seek, and love Him. When we struggle but rely on His grace, He gets the glory. Our inability is always part of the plan.

God does not ask us to be able to parent or do anything. Instead, He asks us to be willing. “Able” parents, parents who think they can do it all and know it all, will treat children as trophies and tend to forget patience and grace. This is not what God desires. God wants us to ask for His help. Good parenting is possible because God is in us. Christian parents have hope in God that we are never alone. 

God’s grace frees us from having to deny that we have any weakness. Even if we try to hide our weaknesses from the world, children have a way of finding and revealing them. Whatever is inside of us will come out when tried by children. When these sins and bad habits come out, we can go to our heavenly Father for relief, grace, healing, and forgiveness. God’s grace will then grow and change us as parents. God’s grace can liberate us from the negatives that are deep down inside so that we grow and become more patient with our children. We will also be able to share more of that grace.

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