Strong Mothers, Strong Sons by Meg Meeker teaches mothers how to guide sons to be healthy men. A strong mother has to guide but also let go to allow her sons to blossom.

As a mother, your impact on your son is deeper and more profound than you realize, which is why you must understand how to direct him properly.

The mother-son relationship is complex. A mother loves her son in a special way the moment he is born but also knows that she must teach him and guide him in the ways that will lead him into proper manhood. This is a balancing act that requires trust and faith in God in all areas.

It also requires that we teach certain things along the way so our sons can become men we are proud to call our own. Likewise, we want to develop our relationship with our sons so that we remain close to them throughout life while also making sure we don’t become needy toward them. This may seem daunting, but the current study aims to make the process clear and practical.

In this summary, you will learn:

  • why mainly the mother teaches a boy how to become a man;
  • why boys must be taught to express emotions verbally and how to deal with them; and
  • how crucial it is for mothers to let go in order to keep their sons close.

A mother’s love for a son is how he learns to feel and demonstrate love as he grows.

When a mother first holds her son, she seems to know that she is his first love, and he will care for her deeply until she is replaced by a new woman he will love, his wife. While mothers love their sons and daughters equally, the relationship with a daughter changes as she grows. An intimate connection can be maintained with a daughter as she grows, but mothers know instinctually that their son’s purest form of love will only last so long before it is given to another.

For an infant son, a mother is representative of nurture and safety – all the good in life. As he becomes a toddler, he will become a watcher because he wants to know you are happy with him. Fathers play an important role during these early years as well, but mothers offer the physical and emotional nurturing that they most desire early on.

The mother is the center of the world for baby boys for the first few years, but mothers are of greater importance as well. A mother is a looking glass into how all women will be seen in his life. If the mother is loving, gentle, and trustworthy, then he will expect other women to be the same. If a mother is unpredictable, the baby boy will learn to protect himself early on, and this will transfer to future interactions with women.

A mother wants her son to be happy, and because of this, we are there for the good and bad times. We want to say yes to anything he wants or needs without ever telling him that he cannot accomplish something. This can create problems for some down the road, but there are some ways to avoid this “too nice” trap.

This perfect love can be hard to maintain with boys as they grow older. With girls, who are natural communicators, it is often easier to connect, but with boys, the discussions tend to end because they are not as willing to talk. Still, a son must know deep down his mother loves him unconditionally. We must teach him to make the right decisions that are morally and ethically correct, as well as teach virtues that will carry him through life.

We must likewise teach our sons to have love, both giving and receiving it. We are our sons’ first love, so we must show and teach them love as they grow. This is not just about parental duties, like buying shoes and driving to games, but includes telling our sons they are loved. We must also spend time with them in a way that is not centered on gaining something or making them a showpiece. Time spent having fun with sons is highly important so that they feel and know they are loved.

Boys need to be taught an emotional vocabulary so they can express their emotions properly.

Boys and men are actually highly emotional and possibly more sensitive than girls. Each day, teenage boys totally break down over failed relationships, are destroyed when a beloved pet dies, and even shut down emotionally as adults when a parent is lost. This is in part because boys and men are not taught to handle emotional pain. Their pain can last much longer than a girl’s because it is repressed. Sensitivity can serve a boy well, but it will not be considered a blessing unless he has a great mother to help him navigate the toughest times.

Basically, this means that boys need to be taught an “emotional vocabulary.” This gives them words to express and helps identify feelings as they come. Though the unwritten boy code seems to make sure that boys and men repress all sensitive type feelings, this is an unhealthy way to live. Mothers can help their boys combat this unwritten code and be healthier. This is up to mothers because they are more likely to see and address their son’s feelings. A father may see them, but his own boy code often tells him that sons need to man up. While a father can definitely teach emotional identification to sons, mothers are natural communicators and feel more comfortable in such a position.

An emotional vocabulary is about so much more than words. There are three components. A boy must first be able to identify the emotion he is feeling at any given moment, then express it somehow, and finally, learn what to do with the emotion once expressed in a healthy manner. While fathers can teach this, mothers are more emotionally communicative.

This emotional vocabulary is important throughout life. Unfortunately, boys learn that emotions are not just to be hidden but should not be felt either. This starts a dangerous cycle in which emotions are repressed and come out later in dangerous ways. This cycle can be broken when a boy is taught that emotions are normal and need to be expressed in a healthy way, even if the boy code exists…

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